In 2015, on our way from Australia to Costa Rica, we made a much anticipated stop in Ukraine to finally introduce Max to my extended family and attend my cousin’s wedding.
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Even though I grew up in Ukraine and my family moved to Canada when I was 15, I had never been to a traditional Ukrainian wedding before. I pictured something simple: an intimate church ceremony followed by a backyard reception in the bride’s village.
Instead, the celebration surprised us in the best way. There was a civil ceremony, a white wedding dress and suit, a formal banquet hall with chandeliers, overflowing tables of food, and a packed schedule of traditions, games, and little surprises woven into the day.
From the outside, it looked similar to a North American wedding. Once the festivities began, it felt completely different. Here are the Ukrainian wedding traditions we experienced, plus what they mean and what to expect if you ever attend one yourself.
At a glance: Ukrainian wedding traditions
- Paying the ransom at the bride’s home
- Family blessings (blahoslovenja)
- Stepping on the rushnyk embroidered cloth
- Wedding rings worn on the right hand
- Korovai wedding bread and its symbolism
- “Kidnapping” the bride during the reception
- “Hirko!” toasts and kisses
- Games led by a tamada (MC)
- Single ladies dance and “prophecies”
- Dance-off games that keep guests entertained
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1. Paying the Ransom
The morning of the wedding, we got our first taste of Ukrainian wedding customs. The groom had to go to the bride’s parents’ house to “pay the ransom” before he could take his bride. His best man and immediate family were allowed to come along for moral support, which included my family, Max, and me.
He arrived with two loaves of bread as a gift for the bride’s family. Instead of being invited inside right away, he was met by the bridesmaids, whose job was to protect the bride from being “stolen” without an adequate ransom.
They worked hard to raise the price. They asked the groom questions about his bride, and every wrong answer meant he had to pay more. They also demanded compliments, little performances, and whatever else might convince him to pull out more cash. After about 15 minutes of laughter and entertainment, the groom was finally allowed inside to get his girl.
In some versions of this tradition, the bride’s family brings out a decoy bride with a veil covering her face. When the groom realizes it is not his bride, he has to pay again, because the real bride is far more valuable.
We also heard about another old custom: if the bride’s parents meet the groom at the door with a pumpkin, it means his offer of marriage was not accepted. The pumpkin is something for him to carry so he does not leave empty handed. Luckily for us, no pumpkins were exchanged at my cousin’s wedding.
2. Blahoslovenja (Blessings)
Blahoslovenja is a ritual that usually happens shortly before the ceremony. It is when parents and grandparents give their blessings to the couple.
At my cousin’s wedding, it took place right after the ransom was settled, inside the bride’s parents’ house. The bride and groom, along with both sets of parents, exchanged bows. Then the parents offered wedding wishes and blessings for a happy, strong, and prosperous marriage.
3. Stepping on the Rushnyk (embroidered cloth)
Almost every Ukrainian wedding ceremony includes the couple stepping onto a traditional embroidered cloth called a rushnyk. It’s one of the most symbolic Ukrainian wedding traditions, and it shows up at ceremonies across the country.
In Ukrainian culture, the person who steps on the rushnyk first is said to have the final say in the marriage. In practice, it felt more like a playful moment than a serious power struggle. At my cousin’s wedding, the groom made sure the bride stepped first, and everyone seemed to know exactly what it meant.
If you want a deeper explanation of the rushnyk and its cultural roots, this is a useful reference.
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4. The Ukrainian Wedding Ring Finger
During the ceremony, Max was surprised to see my cousin slip the wedding ring onto the bride’s right hand. In Ukraine, wedding rings are traditionally worn on the right ring finger, not the left as they are in North America.
Traditionally, the bride wears the ring on her right hand throughout her life. If her husband passes away before her, she may move the ring to her left hand to show she is widowed.
5. Korovai Ukrainian Wedding Bread
Korovai is often described as a Ukrainian wedding cake, although it’s actually a large, round braided bread. It’s baked from wheat flour, decorated with symbolic patterns and shapes, and gifted to the bride and groom as a blessing for their marriage.
It’s slightly sweet and honestly delicious. While the couple might take a bite on the wedding day, korovai is often eaten in the days and weeks that follow. At my cousin’s wedding, they received at least three or four korovai. There was no chance they could finish it all on their own, so Max, me, and the rest of the family were very happy to help.
A typical korovai recipe includes ingredients like eggs, butter, sugar, wheat flour, and vanilla. Some families add lemon zest or rum flavouring, and many recipes are passed down through generations.
Bread carries a lot of symbolism in Ukrainian wedding traditions. Historically, a bride would often move into the groom’s family home after the ceremony, and the couple would be welcomed there with bread and salt.
Of all the traditions we saw, bread and salt felt like one of the most meaningful. Bread represents prosperity and good fortune, while salt is traditionally seen as protective. They are meant to be shared together.
At modern weddings, some couples still follow this tradition by eating korovai with salt. My cousin and his bride skipped it, and we did not blame them.
If you want a quick reference on korovai and how it shows up across Eastern Europe, this is helpful.
6. Kidnapping the Bride
One of the classic Ukrainian wedding reception traditions is the “kidnapping of the bride.” Several times throughout the night, the bride would disappear from the banquet hall and be held “captive” by her bridesmaids until the groom completed a dare to win her back.
In our case, the dares were mostly an excuse for drinking. The first time she went missing, the groom had to drink a shot of vodka from her shoe. Cinderella vibes, Ukrainian edition.
As the night went on, the tradition became less symbolic and more practical. The bride would sneak off with the girls, and my cousin would use the interruption as a reason to take more vodka shots with the guys. Max joined in immediately.
7. Hirko! Ukrainian Wedding Toast
Ukrainian weddings are famous for their toasts. It felt like someone stood up to speak every time we reached for another sip of wine.
Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, family friends. Everyone had something heartfelt to say, and many toasts ended with a word we heard all night: “Hirko!” which means “bitter.”
When guests shouted “Hirko!” it was a cue for the bride and groom to kiss. The idea is simple. If something is bitter, a kiss will sweeten it.
People loved yelling it whenever they could, and by the end of the night the couple looked exhausted. We almost felt bad for them, but the crowd was relentless.
8. Wedding Games and Activities
There were games happening constantly throughout the night. At first, we kept waiting for the dancing to start, but we later learned that Ukrainian weddings put a huge emphasis on entertainment.
Guests expect to be involved, laughing, cheering, and watching things unfold. A lot of that is guided by the wedding MC, often called a tamada.
The guessing baby gender game was one of the easiest to follow. The best man and maid of honour walked around collecting votes on the gender of the couple’s first baby. If you voted for a girl, you put money in the best man’s bucket. If you voted for a boy, you put money in the maid of honour’s bucket.
The votes were in, and according to the crowd, this couple was destined for a boy.
9. Single Ladies Dance
At one point, all the single ladies and unmarried women were invited to the dance floor, which included me at the time.
We lined up and took turns dancing with the bride for about 15 seconds each. After each short dance, she would spin us around and sit us down on a chair.
The goal was to jump up as quickly as possible. The longer you stayed seated, the more likely you were to sit alone for the rest of your life, or at least that was the joke.
Once you jumped up, you grabbed a piece of paper from a hat with your “love prophecy.” Mine said I would marry a Hollywood actor. Instead, I married a traveller.
10. Favourite Part of the Body Dance Off
This was easily the most embarrassing activity I participated in all night.
A few women were hand selected by the bride, and I did not have a choice. She pulled me toward the dance floor and insisted I join because it was “so fun.”
We formed a line in front of the best man, and one by one we had to do a little catwalk style dance. His job was to identify each woman’s most attractive body part.
Thankfully, he understood the situation and chose the most random options possible. Elbow. Knee. Toe. When the dancing ended, he was instructed to kiss his “favourite” part of each woman’s body.
I got a kiss on the eyebrow and walked back to my seat completely mortified.
Never again.
The games went on late into the night, and Max ended up joining in too. With my brother as his translator, he bonded with the guys over vodka, ridiculous dancing, Ukrainian wedding songs, terrible singing, and the kind of humour that needs no translation.
FAQs
Do Ukrainians have arranged marriages?
No. Dating and marriage in Ukraine are not generally arranged, and relationships often look similar to North America. Traditional gender roles can still be more common in some families, especially outside major cities.
Wedding costs vary. Sometimes the couple pays, sometimes families contribute, and often it is a combination.
What is a traditional Ukrainian wedding dress like?
Before Soviet rule, brides often wore embroidered dresses and Ukrainian wedding crowns to their marriage ceremonies. The traditional Ukrainian wedding dress would be colorful, vibrant with lots of patterns, embroidery, and ornaments. It would be complemented by a Ukrainian wedding crown, which would be handwoven, like a wreath. Whereas, the men would wear similarly embroidered shirts with plain trousers to be married.
Today, Ukrainian traditions for wedding dresses are similar to that of modern wedding dresses in North America. Like my cousin and his bride, most couples wear the standard white wedding gown and black suit to be married. However, there will sometimes be touches of embroidery on the dress or veil. Some brides will wear a Ukrainian wedding crown made of flowers.
What are traditional Ukrainian wedding gifts?
The most popular Ukrainian wedding gifts are sealed envelopes with money. At most Ukrainian weddings the bride and groom will line up and guests will greet the happily married couple one-by-one with a sealed envelope as their gift.
What is Ukrainian wedding music like?
It is a mix of traditional folk and Ukrainian wedding songs, with modern day tunes. However, at some point you will definitely hear the Ukrainian wedding march at the reception which embodies the liviness of the wedding celebrations.
It was a night we will never forget. We felt grateful to witness such a joyful celebration of love, family, and Ukrainian culture, and to experience wedding traditions we had only ever heard about before.
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